How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Your Divorced Husband Back