How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts in the end. How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need the time before you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get My Husband’s Attention Back