How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.

So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.

I am pleased to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — as it will reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have the same impact as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get My Husband Back When He Wants A Divorce

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