How To Get My Husband Back In Islam
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Get My Husband Back In Islam
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get My Husband Back In Islam
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get My Husband Back In Islam
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get My Husband Back In Islam
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get My Husband Back In Islam
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get exactly the same impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get My Husband Back In Islam