How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get My Husband Back After A Break Up