How To Get My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you will need time until you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you open access to every one my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not going to get the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get My Ex Husband Back