How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the end. How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get My Ex Husband Back After 5 Years