How To Get Husband Back In Islam
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How To Get Husband Back In Islam
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Husband Back In Islam
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you will need the time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Husband Back In Islam
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Husband Back In Islam
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it will reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Husband Back In Islam
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Husband Back In Islam