How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your own thoughts in the end. How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you need time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access to every one of my account and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to get the identical impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Husband Back After He Leaves