How To Get Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How To Get Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to offer you access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have exactly the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Ex Husband Back