How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time before you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will only undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend