How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our spouses.

When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.

So you need the time before you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will only undo the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to get the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences in the end. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How To Get Ex Husband Back When He Has A Girlfriend

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

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