How To Get Back Your Husband Attention
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. How To Get Back Your Husband Attention
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Back Your Husband Attention
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Back Your Husband Attention
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How To Get Back Your Husband Attention
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Back Your Husband Attention
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Back Your Husband Attention