How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to every one my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How To Get Back My Husband After Divorce