In the middle of a workshop lately a important question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the last week that in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words like reassuring, trustworthy, and reliable were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, food, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s very humbling when you think about it. How To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
I don’t know of any others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
So What Is Unconditional Love?How To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your partner because of those imperfections as opposed to in spite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are exactly the exact same. You’ve got faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let’s problems become larger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not like your partner or perhaps not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
Final ThoughtsHow To Fix Your Marriage When Always Arguing
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