In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and to think of what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, dependable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling once you consider it. How To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
I have no idea of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your partner has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes but that is fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to those imperfections as opposed to despite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues become larger than they actually are and rule our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It is possible to not like your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
Final ThoughtsHow To Fix Your Marriage After An Affair
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