In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
A number of guys in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.
A number of women considered kitchen appliances, favourite shoes or clothes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as comforting, dependable, and reliable were used.
When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it is very humbling when you think about it. How To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
I have no idea of any others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has flaws. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse due to those imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the exact same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to overcome the flaws and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from that then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s problems become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the emotional clutter to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to possess flaws and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
Final ThoughtsHow To Fix Your Marriage After Abuse
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