One of the most frequent questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help find an answer…?

Just how do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is cloudy. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are two people contributing to the overall health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to decide to try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You’re just the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way You Can Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

The first thing you must understand is, if you wish to rescue your marriage and if you find yourself alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move would be the start of the end.

Again, it is going to fail, if you’re looking for a person to blame or someone else to set the physical and psychological work in to saving the marriage. How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and watch what comes your way.

NOT true!

There is still something you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s begin first by examining what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and create connections with others, whether friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people and the character of how we interact with people is a fundamental aspect of personal and psychological development. How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

The paradox is that as we grow older in trust the love, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us happy human beings. Ideally, the older person should have developed a strong sense of self-awareness, confidence and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we see the world, flaws, and all. These make up part of our personal shelter amidst difficulties and challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, many of us enter into adult life without even being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots people enter relationships and marriages with the hope, dream and plan that we’d never be alone. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life pleasure on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some form of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations placed upon them, and if they do so we panic. When our partner leaves, our fears kick in. When something goes wrong with our marriages, it is extremely easy for us to put the blame of the other person for having made us unhappy.How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

So as to save your marriage when you’re the only one doing it, the key is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not just in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is not difficult to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an clingy, hard person to a person who can provide an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your lifetime happiness, you both have much baggage and more real love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Instead of beat up yourself in Despair, try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success:How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is the kind of you that would enable your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the issues surrounding your marital issues and actually start taking steps to work them through. How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

In being open and mature, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With sincerity and all the confidence you have gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it to continue showing her or him that you do and loving your partner. How To Fix My Marriage Since I Cheated

Through little, subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the mature, new you.

You may be making mistakes which will jeopardize your marriage recovery!

You can’t afford to provide your marriage 50 percent…

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You need to learn what is necessary to save your marriage.

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