When confronting a marriage crisis, this is one of the most frequent questions spouses ask: How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated 

How can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help look for a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It is a typical story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to become apart, the 1 person who remains bears the potential, fear, doubt, desire, hope of rescuing his or her marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are just two people causing the overall health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually decide to try and save it? Or, worse, when it’s his, or her, their fault consequently shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You are only the victim here, after all!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Marriage All on Your Own How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

The first thing you must know is, if you wish to rescue your marriage and if you end up alone in this desire, waiting for the other partner to make the first move would be the start of the ending.

Again, it’s going to fail, if you’re seeking a person to blame or somebody else to set the physical and emotional work in to saving the marriage. How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

The belief that the responsibility lies with the other person is a self-defeating mindset. It propagates the impression that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you should stand and see what’s your way.

NOT correct!

There is still something you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let us begin by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being alone. It’s part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with others of the way we interact with people, and the nature is a basic aspect of personal and psychological development. How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a strong sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots of us enter into adult life without being aware of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our romantic relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to shift from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, lots people enter marriages and relationships with plan the hope and dream that we would never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and relying on them to make us secure and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life pleasure on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly put upon them, and if they do so we fear. Our fears kick in, when our partner leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it is very easy for us to place the blame of the person for having made us unhappy.How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

In order to save your marriage when you’re the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the key is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and responses, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to really taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Understand, internalize and adapt this on your own. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In starting with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, difficult person to one who can offer an environment of security, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your life happiness, you both have less baggage and much more real love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success Instead of beat yourself up in desperation:How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your partner (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For this is your kind that would enable your partner to return and initiate communication. When that occurs, you have every opportunity to sit down with him or her, discuss your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually start taking positive steps to work them through. How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

In being open and mature, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these steps. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue loving your partner and showing him or her that you do. How To Fix My Marriage After I Cheated

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming from the adult, new you.

You may be making!

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