In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the last week that in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

A number of guys in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, favorite shoes or clothes, old friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

I don’t know of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You understand by now your spouse has faults. You know your partner is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes but that is fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.

This is unconditional love.How To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our difficulties become bigger than they actually are and dominate our lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is okay to have faults and make mistakes. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It’s possible to not like your partner or maybe not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

 

Final ThoughtsHow To Fix A Marriage Without Counseling

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