In the middle of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked concerning what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with some thing in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these guys, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such people or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with items they used in their lives. Words such as trustworthy reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

I have no idea of some others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the amorous, hollywood-style love is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your partner has flaws. You realize your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes but that is okay, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner because of the imperfections instead of despite of those.

That really is unconditional love.How Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

The same thing applies for you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you are the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that’s okay. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

So what do you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our problems become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to place the emotional clutter to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It is fine to have faults and make errors. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But above all this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.

It is possible to not like your spouse or not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow Hard Should I Try To Save My Marriage

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