In the center of a workshop lately a pertinent question was asked about what creates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and easy. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and simple to keep.
A number of girls believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has rather simple needs, requiring food, shelter, and love. No matter how my day was or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more ardent fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling once you consider it. How Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
I have no idea of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know by now your spouse has flaws. You know your partner is not perfect. You realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you know your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of the imperfections rather than despite of those.
This is unconditional love.How Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
The identical thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the desire to let our difficulties become bigger than they really are and dominate our lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage that the key is in finding ways to put the emotional clutter to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you’ve got for your spouse, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or not like what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
Final ThoughtsHow Do You Know If You Should Save Your Marriage
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