How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you all agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the end. How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need the time to calm down until you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have the identical impact as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Do You Get Your Ex Husband Back