How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time until you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or mad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Do I Win My Husband Back After Cheating On Him