In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

A number of guys in the group thought of their cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and simple to maintain.

A range of women considered kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their own lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as reliable reliable, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, meals, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s very humbling once you think about it. How Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

I don’t know of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from the house or no matter how my day has been. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

 

Therefore What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You realize chances are your spouse has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes but that is fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to those imperfections as opposed to despite of them.

That is unconditional love.How Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Perhaps there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let our problems become bigger than they really are and dominate our own lives.

If you are serious about saving your marriage that the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer them all.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.

It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow Do I Save My Sexless Marriage

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