In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it had been about that relationship that made it ideal. How Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To every one of these guys, these items felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these individuals or objects was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of women believed kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between individuals or with items they used in their own lives. Words like reliable, trustworthy, and comforting were used.

When my turn came to identify my ideal connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring shelter, just meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what kind of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is very humbling once you think about it. How Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

I have no idea of some others that greet me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been away from the house or regardless of how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

 

So What Is Unconditional Love?How Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the kind of love that comes without conditions. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know chances are your partner has faults. You know your partner isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your partner due to the imperfections as opposed to despite of those.

That is unconditional love.How Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

The same thing applies to you however in looking at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You have faults. You aren’t perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you hope unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.

So what can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our difficulties become bigger than they actually are and rule our own lives.

If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make mistakes. It’s okay to have thoughts and feelings. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.

It’s possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.

It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

 

Final ThoughtsHow Do I Save My Marriage After Infidelity

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