How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the end. How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being mad or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the same impact as continuous small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Do I Make My Ex Husband Want Me Back