How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.
So you need time until you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you access to every one my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the identical effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back