How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we’re all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to every one my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get exactly the same effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How Do I Get My Ex Husband Back From The Other Woman