How Did You Get Your Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.

However, the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts in the conclusion. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.

So you will need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to give you open access to all my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to be backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get exactly the same effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

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How Did You Get Your Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am sure you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.

When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you need time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access to every one my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only reverse the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some manner, the key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it is not likely to get exactly the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.

Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Did You Get Your Husband Back

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