In the center of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We had been asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How Can You Save Your Marriage
A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items like their television remote, recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and simple to keep.
A range of girls considered kitchen appliances, favourite clothes or shoes, old friends, acquaintances, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words such as dependable, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn came to identify my perfect relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has quite simple needs, requiring meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what type of mood I’m in, if I get home in the night and I am greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and ardent fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, also it’s quite humbling when you consider it. How Can You Save Your Marriage
I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from no matter how my day was or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How Can You Save Your Marriage
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Can You Save Your Marriage
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without conditions. It’s the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you have for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You realize by now your partner has faults. You understand your partner isn’t perfect. You know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you realize your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your partner because of the imperfections rather than despite of them.
This is unconditional love.How Can You Save Your Marriage
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the exact same. You have flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also expect unconditional love to conquer the flaws and imperfections which people have.
What exactly can you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all mess our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s issues become larger than they actually are and dominate our lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to put the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is your love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your partner or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage can stay constant.
It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Can You Save Your Marriage
Final ThoughtsHow Can You Save Your Marriage
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