How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am certain you agree!

By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.

However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.

When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need time to calm down until you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them farther away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to offer you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I really want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a spouse often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it is only going to reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to get the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I’m sure you all agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It’s never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the conclusion. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.

So you need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you are BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.

So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.

I’m happy to give you open access to all of my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent assumption that a partner often makes is that when they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it will only undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not going to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can My Husband Get His Libido Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

Sharing is caring!

shares
error: Content is protected !!