How Can I Win My Wife Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Win My Wife Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can I Win My Wife Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you’re a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time before you confer with your spouse, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Wife Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How Can I Win My Wife Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Wife Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to get the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Win My Wife Back