How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you all agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It’s never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences at the conclusion. How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?

However there are several reasons why it’s imperative to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do in order to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.

So you need the time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For example:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will inform you instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.

So don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship fixing.

Apologies need to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not going to have the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your partner how much you value them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Win My Wife Back After Separation

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