How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the conclusion. How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need time until you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — that is just going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you open access to every one of my account and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they’ve apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the key is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is nice, but it’s not likely to have exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Win My Wife Back After I Cheated