How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It’s never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to talk about experiences and your thoughts at the end. How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look at your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I’m happy to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their husband or wife should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — since it will reverse the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, who you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to have exactly the same effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse doesn’t accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Win My Husband’s Love Back