How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!

By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never simple.

But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility

In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.

So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.

For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.

So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.

And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.

Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

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How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I am sure you all agree!

By saying so, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never simple.

But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.

When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts in the end. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

However there are numerous reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do in order to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you’ve made a mistake.

However, you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.

So you need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this moment to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it is, look at your partner’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.

For example:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly wish to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.

And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it will only undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.

All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves the changes on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.

Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be recovered, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.

And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back

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