How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your spouse — I am certain you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt one of those people you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our spouses.
When this happens, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you’re also acknowledging that the behavior you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
In regards to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them farther away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by your spouse’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to cure your spouse’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which actually do the majority of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you are, what you’re doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be recovered, you need to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And remember, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to have exactly the same effect as continuous small actions to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your spouse does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Win My Husband’s Heart Back