How Can I Win My Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about experiences and your thoughts in the end. How Can I Win My Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can I Win My Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on self-loathing and remorseful thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time before you confer with your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you are BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all my account and my telephone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly wish to make this work and will do whatever it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win My Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common assumption that a partner often makes is that when they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves that the changes in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some manner, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — do not try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about everything — where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not likely to have exactly the identical impact as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Win My Husband Back