How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m certain you agree!
By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It’s never simple.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it is our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll have the ability to then focus your energy on what you can do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with real sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need the time until you apologize to your spouse, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For example; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s going on sometimes”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is just going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you access to all my account and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do anything it takes. I will clear my schedule out of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being fulfilled by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — since it will undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves the adjustments in your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with favorable changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not going to get exactly the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behavior and show your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you have the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Win My Ex Husband Back