How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you agree!
By saying so, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your own thoughts at the end. How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
However there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
First of all, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts will use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be helpful for you or your marriage, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will have the ability to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behavior you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
In regards to stating sorry, the earlier the better. But, an apology needs to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.
So you will need time to calm down until you confer with your partner, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For example; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — which is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t attempt to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I am happy to give you access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being mad or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have just done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for anything they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the changes in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship repairing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the biggest key is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, who you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And remember, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your partner how much you value them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Win Back My Husband’s Love