How Can I Win Back My Husband
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m sure you agree!
By saying so, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It’s true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share your own thoughts and experiences in the end. How Can I Win Back My Husband
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Win Back My Husband
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This is NOT going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you’ve done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and accept full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to work.
So you need time to calm down before you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look at your spouse’s eyes when you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.
Last, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So take full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Win Back My Husband
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake won’t be repeated in the future and communicate this to your spouse. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am happy to give you open access to all my account and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you open access to all my account and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I will clear my schedule out of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How Can I Win Back My Husband
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A common premise that a partner frequently makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give forgiveness to them.
And if this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this might be your initial instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have accomplished by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments on your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Win Back My Husband
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to cure your partner’s harm and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to be backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will eliminate faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order to their trust to be recovered, you need to leave literally zero doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates after you have messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get exactly the identical impact as continuous small steps to improve your behaviour and show your partner how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner doesn’t take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the best hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Win Back My Husband