In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what creates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the last week which in one’s head was the perfect relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

A number of guys in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects like their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of sneakers. To each of these guys, these things felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.

A number of girls considered kitchen appliances, favored clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and cherished items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between people or with things they used in their lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.

When my turn came to identify my perfect connection, I thought of my dog. My dog has simple needs, requiring just food, shelter, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it’s quite humbling once you consider it. How Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

I don’t know of some others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day has been. His needs are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

 

So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

What is unconditional love

Unconditional love is the type of love that comes without requirements. It is the type of love that you have for the partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition to “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for the partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.

You know by now your partner has faults. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes, but that’s fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You adore your spouse because of those imperfections rather than despite of them.

This is unconditional love.How Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your partner’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got flaws. You aren’t perfect. You know you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you expect unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.

What exactly do you get from that then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with feelings and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there’s the desire to let’s problems become larger than they actually are and rule our lives.

If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the secret is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It’s okay to have feelings and thoughts. But above all of this is the love you have for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer all of them.

It is possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your own life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might remain constant.

It’s time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and figure out how to love unconditionally.How Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

 

Final ThoughtsHow Can I Save My Sexless Marriage

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