In the middle of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the perfect relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with something in the previous week which in one’s mind was the ideal relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
A number of men in the group thought of the automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with items such as their television remote, recliner chair, or favorite pair of shoes. To every one of these men, these things felt easy, and comfortable. The relationships they had with these people or items was rewarding and easy to keep.
A range of girls believed kitchen appliances, favorite clothes or shoes, older friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond which they had created either between individuals or with things they utilized in their own lives. Words like trustworthy, reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my dog. My dog has quite simple demands, requiring just meals, shelter, and love. No matter how my day has been or what kind of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always eager to see me, and it is quite humbling once you think about it. How Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
I have no idea of some others that greet me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been out of the house or no matter how my day was. His demands are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
Unconditional love is the type of love which comes without requirements. It’s the type of love that you have for your partner once the amorous, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you create the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has flaws. You understand your spouse isn’t perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is fine, although you understand your partner makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of the imperfections instead of despite of those.
That really is unconditional love.How Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
The same thing applies for you however in looking at your spouse’s faults. You acknowledge that you’re the same. You have faults. You are not perfect. You know you make mistakes occasionally, but that is fine. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to overcome the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go out and get puppies to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. All of us mess our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let’s problems become larger than they really are and rule our own lives.
If you are seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding ways to place the psychological mess to one side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s fine to have faults and make errors. It is okay to have feelings and thoughts. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you’ve got for one another. And love will conquer them all.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or perhaps not like what they have been doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you’ve got for your spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It’s time to understand how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
Final ThoughtsHow Can I Save My Marriage After I Cheated
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