In the center of a workshop recently a pertinent question was asked concerning what generates the ideal relationship. We had been asked to develop a relationship we had with something in the previous week that in one’s mind was the perfect relationship, and also to think of what it was about that relationship that made it ideal. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
A number of men in the group thought of the cars, tool sheds, families, workmates, old friends, even relationships with items like their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of shoes. To each of these men, these things felt simple, and comfortable. The relationships they had with such individuals or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of women considered kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, older friends, acquaintances, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had created either between people or with things they used in their own lives. Words like trustworthy reliable, and comforting were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has rather simple demands, requiring shelter, only food, and love. No matter how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, when I get home in the night and I’m greeted in such an authentic, transparent, and enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, also it’s very humbling once you think about it. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
I have no idea of any others that encircle me so enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I’ve been away from regardless of how my day has been or the house. His needs are few, yet he gives a lot. I call this unconditional love.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without conditions. It is the type of love that you have for your partner when the romantic, love that is hollywood-style is now gone. Once the amorous love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you have for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You know chances are your spouse has faults. You realize your partner is not perfect. You realize your partner makes mistakes sometimes, but that is okay, although you understand your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You love your spouse due to those imperfections as opposed to in spite of them.
This really is unconditional love.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you’re exactly the same. You’ve got faults. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes sometimes, but that is fine. That is called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections that people have.
So what do you get from this then? Should we all go out and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there’s a lesson to be learnt here. We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there’s the temptation to let our difficulties become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you’re seriously interested in saving your marriage the key is in finding methods to put the psychological mess to a side and let your unconditional love come through. It’s okay to have faults and make mistakes. It’s fine to have feelings and thoughts. But over all this is the love you have for your spouse, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer all of them.
It’s possible to not enjoy your spouse or not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like wherever your life or your marriage are at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage can remain constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your own life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
Final ThoughtsHow Can I Save My Marriage After An Emotional Affair
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