In the middle of a workshop recently a important question was asked about what generates the ideal relationship. We were asked to think of a relationship we had with some thing in the last week which in one’s head was the ideal relationship, and to think of exactly what it was about that relationship that made it perfect. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
A number of men in the group thought of their automobiles, tool sheds, families, workmates, older friends, even relationships with objects such as their television recliner chair, or favourite pair of sneakers. To each of these men, these items felt comfortable, and simple. The relationships they had with such people or items was rewarding and easy to maintain.
A number of women believed kitchen appliances, preferred clothes or shoes, old friends, neighbours, and treasured items in their lives, and the bond that they had generated either between people or with items they used in their own lives. Words such as trustworthy, reliable, and reassuring were used.
When my turn arrived to identify my ideal relationship, I thought of my own dog. My dog has very simple demands, requiring shelter, meals, and love. Regardless of how my day was or what sort of mood I’m in, if I get home at night and I’m greeted in this kind of authentic, transparent, and more enthusiastic fashion. My dog is always excited to see me, and it is quite humbling when you consider it. How Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
I have no idea of any others that encircle me enthusiastically night after night. No matter how long I have been out of no matter how my day has been or the house. His demands are few, yet he gives so much. I call this unconditional love.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
So What Exactly Is Unconditional Love?How Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
Unconditional love is the kind of love which comes without requirements. It is the kind of love that you have for the partner once the romantic, hollywood-style love is now gone. Once the romantic love is gone you make the transition into “real” love. Real love is love you’ve got for your partner despite the knowledge that they are not perfect.
You understand by now your spouse has flaws. You know your partner is not perfect. You understand your partner makes mistakes but that’s fine, although you know your spouse makes mistakes sometimes. You still love them. You like your spouse because of the imperfections instead of despite of them.
This is unconditional love.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
The same thing applies to you however in taking a look at your spouse’s faults. You admit that you are the exact same. You’ve got flaws. You are not perfect. You know that you make mistakes occasionally, but that’s okay. That’s called self-acceptance, and you also hope unconditional love to conquer the faults and imperfections which people have.
So what can you get from this then? Should we all go outside and get dogs to teach us something about unconditional love? Maybe there is a lesson to be learnt here. All of us clutter our lives with emotions and thoughts, trials and tribulations, and there is the temptation to let our issues become larger than they actually are and dominate our own lives.
If you are serious about saving your marriage the secret is in finding methods to place the psychological mess to one side and allow your unconditional love come through. It is fine to possess flaws and make mistakes. It’s fine to have thoughts and feelings. But over all of this is the love you’ve got for your partner, the love you have for one another. And love can conquer them all.
It’s possible to not like your spouse or maybe not enjoy what they are doing and still love them. It’s possible to not like where your own life or your marriage is at but still love your spouse. The love you have for the spouse and your marriage might stay constant.
It is the right time to learn how to reconnect with your life purpose and learn to love unconditionally.How Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
Final ThoughtsHow Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair
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