When confronting a marriage crisis, This is certainly one of the most common questions spouses ask: How Can I Save My Failing Marriage 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not want to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I am attempting to save my marriage on my own…?

It’s a standard enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to become apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving their marriage’ ALONE.

Considering there are two different people causing the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to actually try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they’re the ones to make amends? You are only the victim here, afterall!

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Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

The Best Way You Can Save Your Relationship On Your Own How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

The very first thing you must know is, if you wish to save your marriage and if you end up alone in this need, waiting for the other partner to make the initial move would be the beginning of the ending.

If you’re seeking a person to blame or someone else to put the physical and psychological work in to saving the marriage it is going to fail. How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the impression that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and watch what’s your way.

NOT true!

There’s still something that you CAN DO. Even in your solitude, and isolation, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start by examining what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to become social creatures and create connections with others, whether through friendships or romantic interest. The way we connect with other people and the nature of the way we interact with individuals is a basic part of personal and emotional development. How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in the love, trust, companionship, and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature human person should have developed a sense of confidence self-awareness and self-esteem as she or he reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These constitute part of difficulties and our private shelter amidst challenges. This is called SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without even being conscious of this beautiful, human truth. We may have experienced abandonment in our youth or been disappointed by our intimate relationships.

whatever it is, it has caused to change from appropriate adult development to fears of abandonment and the inability to see that we can stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many of us enter marriages and relationships with dream, plan and the hope that we’d never be lonely. We {invest so much in our spouses and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own poison.

Subconsciously, we project the responsibility of our own life happiness on the other person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for destiny and our own life happiness.

Problems develop when a partner indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations put upon them, and when they do so we panic. Our fears kick in when our partner leaves. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s very easy for us to put the blame of the person for having made us unhappy.How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

In order to save your marriage when you’re the one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift, meaning, the important thing is to change your attitude and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, stop the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT restrain your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can go from fearing abandonment to actually taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, adapt and internalize this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A human being is easy to love. A happy person brings joy. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy hard person to one who can provide an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you are able to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own life happiness, you both have less bags and much more genuine love to bring into the relationship. Your motivation changes from being one of fear to being one of authentic love.

Instead of beat up yourself in Despair, try these tips to start your own personal transformation and lead your marriage to success:How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not only for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the difficulties in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person they first fell in love with and more. For this is the type of you that would allow your partner to return and initiate communication. When that happens, you have every opportunity to sit down with them, talk about your motivations, feelings and plans. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital difficulties and actually begin taking positive measures to work them through. How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

In being open and older, you could provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once again. With sincerity and all the confidence you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or difficulties, find it in you to continue showing him or her that you do and loving your spouse. How Can I Save My Failing Marriage

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t need to be grand gestures, they just have to be sincere. And coming out of the new you.

You might be making!

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