How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among those people that you love the most. It is never simple.
But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this happens, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there’s nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will require.
Continue below to find out what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How in the world can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How do an apology begin with ME?”
However there are several reasons why it’s necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful will use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the PROBLEM, rather than what you can do to FIX it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you can do to make up for it.
Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to saying sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with real sincerity and feeling to work.
So you will need the time to calm down before you apologize to your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As difficult as it is, look into your spouse’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow this up with a “but” or an excuse.
For instance: “I am so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to going out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what’s happening sometimes”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and also indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is just going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And focus only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a strategy to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your spouse. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.
“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her out of my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will inform you immediately if he/she tries to get in contact with me.
I’m pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If that would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with at this time.” How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse often makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
So don’t expect anything from your partner right now.
Yes, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being fulfilled angry words or by your partner’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this may be your initial instinct — since it is only going to undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your spouse for whatever they have done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it will be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and also see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and also will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some manner, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.
This may seem counter-intuitive, however, the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order for their hope to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it’s not likely to get the identical effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and show your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Get My Ex Husband To Take Me Back