How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say to your partner — I’m certain you all agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you have messed up and have hurt one of the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
However, the thing is, we are all human and we make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which really hurt our partners.
When this occurs, it is our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.
It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to share experiences and your thoughts at the end. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
5 Step to Say “I’m Sorry” and Really Mean It. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?”
But there are several reasons why it is imperative to try to make peace with yourself after you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on remorseful and self-loathing thoughts is going to use all of your emotional energy up.
This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you will be able to then focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you’ve made a mistake.
But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a terrible person as a whole and you have the chance to be your very best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the earlier the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and real sincerity to work.
So you need time to calm down until you confer with your spouse, take this moment. An sarcastic or angry apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it is, look into your partner’s eyes once you go to confer with them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I arrived home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I am busy with work and find it difficult to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This is going to make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your partner — which is only going to push them further away.
So accept full responsibility for your actions… don’t try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Just make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all my accounts and my telephone if that would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am happy to give you access to all my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with right now.” How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent assumption that a spouse often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, wife or their husband should stop being sad or angry and give them forgiveness.
And if this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse stinks and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their choice.
So don’t expect anything from your spouse right now.
It’s true, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.
So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it is only going to reverse the good you have done by apologizing.
And now is definitely not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is important, but it is not enough on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow which actually do most of the relationship fixing.
Apologies need to be backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will eliminate faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you’ve betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest secret is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — don’t attempt to hide or cover anything up.
Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you are, what you are doing, that you’re with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This might appear over-the-top, but the truth is that your partner is very likely to be feeling very vulnerable right now, and their trust in you has been ruined. So in order to their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally zero doubts in their mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it’s not going to get the same impact as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you’re through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back