How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On
Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I am sure you agree!
By saying this, you are admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.
But the thing is, we are all human and we ALL make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our spouses.
When this occurs, it’s our job apologize and to take responsibility for our actions, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there’s almost “too much” to apologize for.
It’s a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will take.
Continue below to learn what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your own thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On
5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On
1. Forgive yourself
You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?”
But there are numerous reasons why it’s imperative to try to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.
To start with, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing is going to use up all of your emotional energy.
This isn’t going to be useful for you or your marriage, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you have made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.
Let me be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.
But you’re also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you have the chance to be your best self from now on…
2. Apologize to your spouse and take full responsibility
When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. However, an apology needs to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to be effective.
So you need the time until you apologize to your partner, take this time to calm down. An sarcastic or angry apology will only make the situation even more worse.
As hard as it can, look into your partner’s eyes when you go to apologize to them.
For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to going out and how disappointed and hurt you have felt when I came home late”.
Lastly, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.
For example: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you have to’ve felt when I arrived home. BUT the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU didn’t remind me this afternoon. You know I’m busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is happening occasionally”.
This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your partner — that is only going to push them farther away.
So take full responsibility for the actions… Do not try to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it will not work!) And concentrate just on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On
3. Make promises for the future
Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and convey this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.
“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she tries to get in touch with me.
I am pleased to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my telephone. I promise to keep in regular communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.
I really wish to make this work and will do anything it takes. I can clear my schedule outside of work so I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On
4. Accept your spouse’s reaction
A frequent premise that a spouse frequently makes is that as soon as they’ve apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being angry or sad and give forgiveness to them.
And when this doesn’t happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you want me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”
The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their own decision.
Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner at the moment.
It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it might feel excruciating being met by your partner’s silence or angry words. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.
Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your first instinct — as it will undo the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.
And now is certainly not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your spouse for whatever they’ve done.
All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your behaviour. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On
5. Follow your apology up with positive actions
Saying sorry is vital, but it isn’t sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s harm and move forward. It is the ACTIONS that follow that really do the majority of the relationship fixing.
Apologies have to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and also will become more hurt and betrayed consequently.
If you have betrayed your spouse in some manner, the secret is to be utterly transparent with your spouse in future — do not try to hide or cover up anything.
Keep the lines of communication open and be honest about everything — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.
This may appear over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable right now, and their hope in you has been shattered. So in order for their trust to be regained, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.
And keep in mind, one big gesture of chocolates and flowers once you have messed up is nice, but it’s not going to have the same effect as constant small actions to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.
Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Get My Ex Husband Back If He Has Moved On