How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your partner — I’m sure you agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you’ve messed up and have hurt among the people that you love the most. It is never easy.

But the thing is, we’re all human and most of us make mistakes. And unfortunately, sometimes we make mistakes which actually hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility and apologize, EVEN when your mistake is so BIG you really feel like there is nearly “too much” to apologize for.

It is true that the deeper the hurt, the longer the recovery process will require.

Continue below to learn what these steps are, and don’t hesitate to share your thoughts and experiences in the conclusion. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You might be thinking something like: “How on earth could I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology begin with ME?

But there are several reasons why it is necessary to attempt to make peace with yourself once you have made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are remorseful and self-loathing will use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be useful for your marriage or you, since it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you will be able to focus your energy on what you could do to make up for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you’re not clearing yourself of any blame… You openly admit that you have made a mistake.

However, you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you’re a terrible person as a whole and you have the opportunity to be your very best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and take full responsibility

When it comes to saying sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with genuine sincerity and feeling to be effective.

So you will need the time before you confer with your partner, take this moment to calm down. An angry or sarcastic apology is only going to make the situation even more worse.

As difficult as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to confer with them.

For instance; “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Last, never never NEVER say “I’m sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you were looking forward to heading out and how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what is going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even imply that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for your actions… Do not attempt to reevaluate your error to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a plan to make certain your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make could be followed up on.

For instance:

“I have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my phone, Facebook, Twitter, and will let you know instantly if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I’m pleased to give you access to all my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I’m happy to offer you access. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from today on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do anything is needed. I can clear my schedule out of work so that I can spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you’re comfortable with at this time.” How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common assumption that a partner frequently makes is that when they have apologized, their husband or wife should stop being angry or sad and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I have just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can’t you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or spouse for their forgiveness, but you can’t FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your spouse at the moment.

It’s true, you are making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met angry words or by your spouse’s silence. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I am sorry”.

Therefore avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, despite the fact that this might be your first instinct — as it is only going to undo the good you have done by apologizing.

And now is definitely not the time to begin pointing fingers and trying to get back at your partner for anything they’ve done.

All you can do right now, as hard as it can be, is give your partner time to come to terms with your own apology and see for themselves the adjustments on your own behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your partner’s hurt and move. It is the ACTIONS that follow which really do the majority of the relationship repairing.

Apologies have to get backed up with positive changes in behavior, as otherwise your spouse will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed as a result.

If you’ve betrayed your partner in some way, the secret is to be ABSOLUTELY transparent with your spouse in future — don’t try to hide or cover anything up.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you’re doing, who you are with, what you are spending… EVERYTHING.

This might appear counter-intuitive, however, the truth is that your spouse is very likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their hope in you has been ruined. So in order for their trust to be regained, you need to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And keep in mind, one huge gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is nice, but it is not going to have the identical effect as constant small steps to improve your behaviour and reveal your spouse how much you appreciate them.

Even if your partner does not take your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to show how sorry you are through loving actions, you’ve got the hope of regaining their trust and love. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

Sorry can be the HARDEST thing to say for your spouse — I’m certain you all agree!

By saying this, you’re admitting that you have messed up and have hurt among the people you love the most. It’s never simple.

However, the thing is, we are all human and most of us make mistakes. And regrettably, sometimes we make mistakes that actually hurt our partners.

When this occurs, it’s our job to take responsibility for our actions and apologize, EVEN whenever your mistake is so BIG you feel like there is almost “too much” to apologize for.

It is a fact that the deeper the hurt, the longer the healing process will take.

Continue below to find out what these steps are, and feel free to talk about your thoughts and experiences at the end. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

5 Step to Say “I Am Sorry” and Truly Mean It. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

1. Forgive yourself

You could be thinking something like: “How on earth can I ever forgive myself?” Or “How can an apology start with ME?

But there are numerous reasons why it is necessary to try to make peace with yourself once you’ve made a mistake.

First of all, dwelling on thoughts that are self-loathing and remorseful is going to use up all of your emotional energy.

This isn’t going to be helpful for your marriage or you, as it keeps the focus on the issue, rather than what you can do to repair it. If you can accept the mistake you’ve made, you’ll be able to focus your energy on what you could do to compensate for it.

Allow me to be clear here. By forgiving yourself, you are not clearing yourself of any blame… You freely admit that you have made a mistake.

But you are also acknowledging that the behaviour you have done wrong does not mean you are a bad person as a whole and you’ve got the chance to be your best self from now on…

 

 

2. Apologize to your partner and accept full responsibility

When it comes to stating sorry, the sooner the better. But, an apology has to be said with feeling and genuine sincerity to work.

So you will need time to calm down before you apologize to your partner, take this time. An angry or sarcastic apology will only make the situation even more worse.

As hard as it can, look at your spouse’s eyes once you go to apologize to them.

For instance; “I am so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I know how much you were looking forward to going out and just how disappointed and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late”.

Lastly, never never NEVER say “I am sorry” and follow it up with a “but” or an excuse.

For instance: “I’m so sorry that I forgot we had plans for dinner tonight. I understand how much you had been looking forward to heading out and how frustrated and hurt you must’ve felt when I came home late. However, the reason why I forgot about dinner is because YOU did not remind me this morning. You know I am busy with work and find it hard to keep track of what’s going on occasionally”.

This will make your apology meaningless, and even indicate that you’re BLAMING your spouse — that is only going to push them further away.

So take full responsibility for the actions… don’t try to downplay your mistake to make yourself feel better (because believe me, it won’t work!) And concentrate only on YOUR actions, not your spouse’s. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

3. Make promises for the future

Come up with a strategy to ensure your mistake will not be repeated in the future and communicate this to your partner. Make sure any promises you make can be followed upon.

For instance:

“I will have absolutely no further contact with that person. I will delete him/her from my telephone, Facebook, Twitter, and also will let you know immediately if he/she ever tries to get in contact with me.

I am happy to give you open access to all of my accounts and my phone if this would be helpful to you|If this would be helpful to you, I am pleased to give you open access to every one of my accounts and my phone. I promise to keep in communication with you about what I am doing and from now on I will always be at home when I say I will.

I truly want to make this work and will do whatever is needed. I can clear my schedule outside of work so that I could spend as much time with you as possible — as much time as you are comfortable with right now.” How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

4. Accept your spouse’s reaction

A common premise that a partner often makes is that as soon as they have apologized, their spouse or spouse should stop being sad or mad and give them forgiveness.

And when this does not happen, the apologizing spouse explodes and says something along the lines of: “I’ve just apologized! What more to you need me to do?! Why can not you just accept it and move on?!”

The thing is, you can ask your husband or wife for their forgiveness, but you can not FORCE them to forgive you. Whether they do or not is their decision.

Therefore don’t expect anything from your partner right now.

Yes, you’re making yourself vulnerable and yes, it may feel excruciating being met by the silence or angry words of your spouse. This truly is the HARDEST part about saying “I’m sorry”.

So avoid acting defensively AT ALL COSTS, even though this may be your initial instinct — since it will only reverse the good you have just accomplished by apologizing.

And now is certainly not the time to start pointing fingers and trying to get back in your partner for anything they have done.

All you can do now, as hard as it is, is give your spouse time to come to terms with your apology and see for themselves that the adjustments in your behavior. Forgiveness will come with time. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

 

5. Follow your apology up with positive actions

Saying sorry is important, but it is not sufficient on its own to heal your spouse’s hurt and move forward. It’s the ACTIONS that follow that actually do most of the relationship repairing.

Apologies need to get backed up with favorable changes in behaviour, as otherwise your partner will lose faith in you and will end up more hurt and betrayed consequently.

If you have betrayed your spouse in some way, the biggest key is to be utterly transparent with your partner in future — do not attempt to hide or cover up anything.

Keep the lines of communication open and be fair about what — where you’re, what you are doing, that you are with, what you’re spending… EVERYTHING.

This might seem over-the-top, but the simple truth is that your spouse is likely to be feeling really vulnerable at the moment, and their trust in you has been shattered. So in order to their hope to be recovered, you have to leave literally no doubts in their own mind.

And remember, one big gesture of flowers and chocolates once you’ve messed up is fine, but it is not likely to get the same effect as continuous small steps to improve your behavior and reveal your spouse how much you value them.

Even if your spouse does not accept your apology straight away, DO NOT GIVE UP. By continuing to demonstrate how sorry you are through loving actions, you have the hope of regaining their love and trust. How Can I Get Ex Husband Back

Cheatproof-your-relationship

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