When facing a marriage crisis, this is one of the questions spouses ask: How Can I Fix My Marriage 

Can I save my marriage if my partner does not wish to help find a solution…?

Just how do I succeed I’m trying to save my marriage by myself…?

It is a typical story: one partner leaves, the other remains. One remains “in love”, the other is not unclear. Whatever it is that’s caused a couple to be apart, the 1 person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving her or his marriage’ ALONE.

Considering that there are two different people causing the total health and well being of a marriage, shouldn’t both of you be present to decide to try and save it? Or, worse, if it’s his, or her, their fault so shouldn’t he, she, they be the ones to make amends? You’re only the victim here, after all!

photo of bear plush toy on pavement

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash

 

How You Can Save Your Marriage On Your Own How Can I Fix My Marriage

The very first thing you need to understand is, if you want to rescue your marriage and if you end up alone in this desire, waiting for the other spouse to make the first move would be the beginning of the ending.

Again, it is likely to fail if you’re looking for someone to blame or somebody else to put the physical and emotional work into saving the marriage. How Can I Fix My Marriage

The belief that the responsibility lies with another individual is a self-defeating attitude. It propagates the belief that there is NOTHING you can do to save your marriage and you ought to stand and see what comes your way.

NOT true!

There is still something you are able to DO. Even in solitude and your loneliness, you CAN save your marriage.

How…?

Let’s start first by analyzing what it means to be all on your own.

As human beings, we hate being lonely. It is part of our genetic make up to be social creatures and develop connections with other people, whether friendships or romantic interest. How we connect with the nature of how we interact with individuals and others is a basic part of development that is personal and psychological. How Can I Fix My Marriage

The paradox is that as we grow older in companionship, trust, the love and support of our significant others, we develop an internal strength of self that makes us whole, happy human beings. Ideally, the mature person should have developed a sense of confidence, self-awareness and self-esteem as he or she reaches adulthood. These become the windows with which we view the world, flaws and all. These make up part of difficulties and our personal shelter amidst challenges. This is named SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

However, lots people enter into adult life without even being aware of this gorgeous, human truth. We could have experienced abandonment in our childhood or been disappointed by our relationships.

whatever it is, it’s caused to change from appropriate mature development to fears of abandonment and the inability to find that we are able to stand on our own two feet.

Thus, many people enter marriages and relationships with plan, the hope and dream that we would never be alone. We {invest so much in our partners and loved ones, focusing our whole beings on them and rely upon them to make us protected and happy. Unfortunately, this perspective carries with it its own toxin.

Subconsciously, we project the duty of our own life happiness on the person, eloquently sidestepping taking responsibility for our own life happiness and destiny.

Problems develop when a spouse indicates some kind of dissatisfaction with the relationship or the expectations unwittingly placed upon them, and if they do so we panic. When our partner leaves, our fears kick in. If something goes wrong with our marriages, it’s extremely easy for us to place the blame of the person for having made us miserable.How Can I Fix My Marriage

So as to save your marriage when you are the only one doing it, the key then is a paradigm shift the important thing is to change your mindset and focus. Stop focusing on your partner – stop the blaming, halt the inaction.

Take a close look at yourself and what you can do in this moment. You can NOT control your partner’s feelings, attitude and reactions, but you can control your own. You can always go from fearing abandonment to taking responsibility for yourself and your own happiness.

This is where the human truth about self-actualization comes in. Know, internalize and adapt this for yourself. Learn it. It will spell the difference not only in your marriage but in YOU.

A whole human being is easy to love. A happy person attracts happiness. In beginning with yourself, you can move from being an unhappy, clingy, hard person to a person who can offer an environment of safety, wisdom, trust and communication.

If each of you have the ability to self-sustain when it comes to taking responsibility for your own lifetime happiness, you both have much baggage and more genuine love to bring in the relationship. Your motivation shifts from being one of fear to being one of real love.

Try these tips to start your own transformation and lead your marriage to success rather than beat yourself up in desperation:How Can I Fix My Marriage

  • Breathe…
  • Smile…
  • Let go…
  • Believe that reconnection is possible…
  • See a counselor for YOURSELF not just for your marriage
  • Examine your part in contributing to the issues in your marriage
  • Forgive yourself…
  • Change…
  • Look after your health, beauty, and well-being…

For all you know, your spouse (and you) may just rediscover the person that they first fell in love with and more. For all you know, this is your kind that would enable your partner initiate communication and to come back. When that occurs, you have every chance to sit down with him or her, talk about your motivations, plans and feelings. You may even get to the real issues surrounding your marital issues and actually start taking steps to work them through. How Can I Fix My Marriage

In being open and mature, you can provide an environment where love and intimacy can flourish once more. With all the confidence and sincerity you’ve gathered, take these measures. Plus one more. Even in your separation, conflict or problems, find it to continue loving your partner and showing her or him that you do. How Can I Fix My Marriage

Through subtle acts, like preparing a snack for him or her or spending some quality TV time, you can rekindle love in your marriage. They don’t have to be gestures, they simply have to be sincere. And coming from the mature, new you.

You might be making mistakes that will endanger your marriage recovery!

You can’t afford to give your marriage 50%…

You want 100% – you need the BEST, PROVEN information and METHODS now!

You have to learn what is necessary to save your marriage.

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